Blogging again! Long overdue post...

Have needed and wanted to share this little bit of info for so long....
For those of you who know us well or read the last blog entry, you know that we were adopting a little girl from Ethiopia with special needs when both my husband and I began to feel God saying "not now"....we stopped things and my heart was broken and full of a million emotions but I just kept trusting in God....
WELL...sometimes God asks us to do hard stuff and we never find out why (until heaven of course) but sometimes....He lets us in on the WHY so that HE GETS THE GLORY! And how glorious HE IS....
So early Feb we said Yes to adopting that sweet little "M"...but by early March heard "No she's not yours" and I didnt understand but followed what I knew God was saying...the next 4 weeks I was crushed spiritually and emotionally and so full of doubt....But on April 1st the orphan advocate (Kristi) who'd told us about her in the first place let me in on some details...
Because we had said Yes and then No, making her available again for adoption, she wrote a small blurb about her on her blog www.weloveourlucy.blogspot.com which caught the attention of a couple who didnt even know Kristi and had already signed with another agency but KNEW she was meant to be theirs!! So long story short- had we not carried her in our hearts for that month and been obedient in saying "Yes" to her and then to saying "Ok not yet"...this couple would have never heard about her and or made it through the hoops they needed to go through in order to get to their precious daughter! Even better...While I was overjoyed about that news I still wondered and prayed for her especially while hearing about hold ups and changes to the Ethiopian system...well in October baby "M" was really on my heart and low and behold if sweet Kristi didnt let me know that she had made it home and is with her forever family now!!!
I've heard it said before "Obedience always trumps worse case scenario" and its so true!!!
WHEW WEE GOD IS GOOD!
OK determining to get back at this blog thing and post pics soon! :)

¡Vamos Let

Where You go, I'll go...

Where you stay, I'll stay....
Sometimes God asks us to GO... to make that step of faith and follow His calling...

Sometimes God asks us to STAY knowing that He has things for us to do right where we are both internally and externally....

In the past few months I have felt God asking me to do both. I was hesitant to share all this, but I feel like God is glorified in it so I should share....

To Go: To say "yes" to a special needs adoption, a precious waiting little girl...My hubby, reluctant at first, who had once said "I definitely can't do special needs" after praying for days said "OK, Lets go ahead with her...our life is not our own". It's not about us, what makes us comfortable, it's about what God wants -
So we began the process to bring her home...check ups at the Dr, gathering documents, notarizing papers, our home study, even put her pictures around the house....
But at some point in those weeks, something shifted in me and later I would find out my hubby too...

TO STAY: It was the week after our home study had been done, we were waiting for our agency contract to arrive, but I wasn't excited. I pushed those feelings aside, praying against what I thought had to be Satan's attempts to steal my joy and instill doubt - but as I continued praying, I felt an inner nudging, a deep whisper "not yet".....HUH?!?!
After avoiding a serious talk with my hubby, the time presented itself to ask him what he had been feeling and praying, and his words were identical to what I'd felt -
So after praying and crying on the couch together, we realized it'd be wrong to keep going knowing where we both stood.
** It is so easy to get caught up in other influences around us, and what others might think, but it is GOD we must seek in ALL things! This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Listening to God isn't always easy and doesn't always seem to make sense But we have peace and I am thankful.
"My Sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me" John 10:27

**2 days after our heart wrenching change in plans, we heard about the changes taking place in Ethiopia to the adoption process...Was God sparing us future devastation and further heartbreak by changing our hearts...Did God want to see if we would say "yes" in the first place??? I don't know for sure - But I do know God gives and takes away and it's all for HIS GLORY.
He is growing us and while it wasn't time yet for us, I pray it is for another family very soon! We are praying for baby "M" while she waits and all the other children waiting...
We wait in expectation...
"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord" Psalms 27:14
And for now in this season, God calls me to mommy the 2 boys I do have and teach them to listen to Him...and to remember that God sees anyone who does not know Him an ORPHAN...

Now just to lighten it up a bit....

Praying

Oh there is so much to be praying for...right now our hearts are aching for the many children and families that will be affected by the changes taking place in Ethiopia.
The Ministry of Womens Affairs in Ethiopia -who along with the courts- have to approve adoption cases, are planning on cutting the number of cases they submit to the courts each day from around 40 to 5.....a 90% drop!! Children will be tied up in the system for years and families will be waiting for so much longer. I don't know specifics but articles say this is to investigate futher the cases that involve corruption and this will be effective March 10th.
The heartbreak and devestation this could bring makes me sick....so many of our friends are waiting for their children to get to come home - Please join me in praying for this country, the waiting children, and the waiting families.
There is so much I don't know, but I do know our GOD is in CONTROL!
I was encourage by this verse in my bible study, hope it encourages you too...
"I will contend with those who contend with you, and your children I will save"
Isaiah 49:25

R-E-A-L

This is real...what my days are really made of!!

In case you haven't learned yet, our Micah has LOTS of ENERGY! LOTS!!! And our Tyler...well not so much!

So my daily challenge is to find ways for Micah to let all that energy out without hurting himself, someone else, breaking something, or finding something that he can do lots of damage to (like my father-in-laws laptop! Sorry Noni & Grand-dad!). I fail miserably often, but there are days when things go smooth - Today however was not one of them......

THis is poor cookie monster covered in baby powder...I left the bathroom open while I went to change for work and those few minutes...well you see.

Since this was the 2nd major mess of the day and wasn't too bad too clean up, I managed a picture of the mess...Micah was unavailable for a picture as you can imagine :)

WELL HAPPY FRIDAY & KEEP IT REAL! :)

*I think satan knows God is stirring around here...so I have a feeling hard-pressed times are just beginning

It's been a while!!

So. since I don't have any words of wisdom or much time before something spills or somebody gets hurt I thought I'd just load a couple pictures from lately...we are doing great...just trying to stay sane in this awful weather that keeps us inside entirely too much!!


Tyler is still sweet and goofy...getting a touch of the "terrible two's" a few months shy of turning 3 - just being rotten and not wanting to share too much! BUT HE STILL HAS HIS PACI (or BeBe as he says)!! (I KNOW! I KNOW!) Oh well...he was destined for braces anyway!
Some of Tyler's quotes lately
"Mommy, Cookie (the dog) told me bubbie hit him!"
"Mommy, you take off my sock and I wuv on you" ( I take off his sock and he gives me a big hug! Ha!)

Here is our new puppy that acts more like a cat! He sits in the window and nips at us alot! Hoping it is just his puppy phase....the boys love him though and the poor dog can't get any peace! He was trying to enjoy some time in the window and here they come!

They got caught cuddling! I was so happy! Now I know they love each other...but usually they are picking on each other and taking toys or whining that the other one is bothering them! But I came in the living room and caught them hanging out like this! :)

And of course....Micah and his mischief....yeah he has discovered he can fit in the dryer! I know it was wrong to take a picture, but really, how could I not?!

And sometime in between all there I started a new craft/painting project...I painted the world on an already pretty blue glass plate from the DOLLAR STORE! I love it and it's out on our kitchen table. Here is Micah displaying it for me :)

"Let us not love with words or tongue but with ACTION and in TRUTH!" 1 John 3:18

Well, that's all for now... I hope to get better about blogging again, but cant make any promises!

God is stirring stuff up around here but not sure exactly WHAT! When I know for sure...yall will too! :)

christmas card

Year In Review Christmas 5x7 folded card

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All I really want for Christmas

I remember about this time last year hearing this song for the first time...I was in my car, in a parking lot and I began sobbing uncontrollably! This time last year, I was excited for Christmas, but the ache for Micah to be home with us was getting to be ALOT. My heart was so heavy and then I heard this song about a child's wish for Christmas is a family....a family!! Not an ipod, ipad, iphone, kindle, yadda yadda yadda.....A FAMILY!

I'm more excited for Christmas this year then I have been since I was a little girl (I'm begging Matt to get the decorations out already) and I know it's because Micah is home and I get to live Christmas through his eyes and see how that Baby born so long ago in a dirty manager, transformed our lives and brought us to this place of celebrating the birth of our Savior AND celebrating His work in us and through us so that one of His children would have a family for Christmas this year and the rest of his life!!!

I hope and pray that in the hustle and bustle of this time of year, you can stop to pray about what God may be wanting to do in your life in order to give a family to a precious child out there without one...listen to this song and soak in the words....

My baby...

...isn't a baby anymore!!!!!!!!!!
Can yall believe how BIG he looks????!!!

Just a little picture for all of you who have supported our adoption from the start! Your love, prayers, and yes even your money...have helped bring us to this special place!!
Thank you will never be enough.... but I hope the smile on his face at least makes you smile!!

Moments like these.....

While I was cooking dinner tonight I let the boys out back to play - and I glimpsed up and saw that "kodak moment" going on and after a few pictures (of course) it got me thinking....

Moments like these....

~Make my heart swell up with joy, so full I think it could burst

~Make all the hard moments totally worth it

~Make me take a deep a breath and say "Yes God, this WAS right, You were right!"

~Make that 22 hour plane ride (twice!) seem like a breeze!

~Make our tight wallets seem like no sacrifice at all

~Make me glad we didn't charge the battery on that car!

~Make my heart continue to ache for those who don't have parents loving them all day and brothers to push them around in the backyard

~Make me keep asking God how He wants to use us more

Fall, Thanksgiving, and Pumpkin Patch

"Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what He has done"
Psalms 105:1


How very thankful we are. Each day we are reminded of all we have been given, while some days are harder than others when you have 2 around the same rowdy age, those days never trump the amount of thanksgiving and praise we have for God who has brought to this place in our lives....

Big smiles and laughter daily,

(Tyler thoroughly enjoyed the 3 laps around a pin on this big pony, which was $4!!)

Lots of loves and hugs,

The time we get to spend all together is never as long or as often as I would like, so when we do have a day without anything planned we try to really make the most of it! The pumpkin patch was a blast and the boys really enjoyed it and we didn't even have to spend alot of money! They just love to be loved....though daddy did splurge and buy $7 pumpkins! (They were the biggest and the brightest...I think) haha.

Fall of course gets us all thinking about Thanksgiving, but this year thanksgiving has reigned in our hearts even more so than usual! How thankful we are to have Micah home with us this year, last year my heart was aching for him to be home (and I didn't even know him yet!) and this year he is HERE! He will be at the big table chowing down on mashed potatoes and stuffing!! What a beautiful site it will be!

But even more than that is what the verse above says "make known among the nations what He has done." We are realizing more and more this is what we are called to do, make God's goodness known all around us and to all the nations.... so while I hope people see our adoption story of Micah and are moved to action, I hope even more that people see we are moved to action because we have been adopted by God, by the death and resurrection of Jesus, and made children of God, heirs with JESUS to the Kingdom of God!

So now... we pray about how God wants to use us to make the nations know all He has done....!

Long Overdue....

A new post is long overdue and I have had this idea for a photo-shoot with Micah since we came home and 5 months later, I got the urge at the spur of the moment today....I put Micah in just his diaper and let him play with the large Ethiopian flag we got at the market while we were there....He was on the move but was able to get a few cute ones of the rowdy little thing!

ENJOY...

Goofy Boys

They make me smile....hope this makes you smile too!

To Micah's Ethiopia Mommy

It is easy to get caught up in Micah Tirfe being home and everything going so smooth, that I just forget about all that happened in order for him to get here. Yes it feels like he has been here forever, but the truth is - he hasn't and a woman's pain has been our gain....Adoption is hard when you get past the surface, when you think about all the things that happened for one family to experience such joy. I don't want to pretend that he just magically landed here - I don't want to belittle all that his Birth Mother went through and sacrificed for him to have the life he has now - I never met her but I pray I get to one day. She has pictures of us and we have pictures of her, but that's about it - So in an attempt to get my feelings out and on paper, I wrote this poem for her....I pray it helps other mother's out there make sense of their feelings and make the decision never to forget the women who chose life for their children, our children and made the ultimate sacrifice for them.

"For Demekech"

~ I can't help but wonder how you must be feeling inside tonight
~Are you sad and lonely, just longing to hold your baby tight?

~My heart aches for you and at times it feels hard to breathe
~Especially when I think about the day you had to leave

~You acted out of love, to save your baby from pain he would endure
~And we'll honor you, by loving him-that you can know for sure

~There's moments when he looks at me and I see you in his face
~Oh how I pray God comforts you and you feel covered by His grace

~I have so many questions and I'm certain one day he will too
~Yet, even if they never get answered, we'll always cherish you

~There is so many things I want you to know, so many things to say
~It's my prayer that God gives me the chance to share it all with you one day

~I can never repay you for the love you gave him from the start
~But I will always carry gratitude for your sacrifice in my heart

~I pray you never feel guilty for the choice you had to make
~For only you could know what was best for him and all that was at stake

~I long for you to know he's happy, healthy, loved, and really doing very well
~To explain the precious gift he is to us - there's just not enough words to tell

~One day I hope to find you, to see you face to face
~To convey our love for you and the son we share, in a long embrace

One last thing I want to share that I haven't yet --- Micah's Ethiopian name of course is Tirfe (tear-fey) - well we had Micah picked out before we knew his Ethiopian name - and then when we heard it, it just fit "Micah Tirfe". Micah is a biblical name and means "profit of God" -- Well when we are in Ethiopia we find out that his birth mom was asked why he was given the name Tirfe and she replied "I liked the name - it means "my profit"....pretty sweet huh?! Only God could line that up... amazing

My little Trooper!

Micah had surgery on Monday morning...not just any surgery, surgery on his "little boy parts" and they had to make incisions in his abdomen AND scrotum! (OUCH!!) But he is running (kinda) around and keeping up with Tyler now just 2 days after as if nothing really happened.
It was really hard that first night and it actually felt like we had taken 2 steps back as far as bonding because he would look at us with this blank stare...but I'm now thinking/hoping it was just the medicine because once we got home he totally turned back into the little boy he had blossomed into! Thanks be to God for everything going smooth!!!
Enjoy the pics of his new haircut!

Hidden Treasure...

I found an awesome antique-looking trunk/chest at a yard sale today and I LOVE it!! It was a bargain and I have wanted one for a long time! But before I brought it in the house to fill it with quilts...I had to display my biggest treasures in my new treasure chest!!

Pictures of Thursday in Ethiopia

Day 6 Ethiopia - Thursday

Oh my goodness - there is just so much to digest from today and it's only 2pm.
Matt started his morning not feeling well, but went out with Jodi Stivers to meet an Ethiopian man whom Jodi had met at a men's retreat with his church a while back, for breakfast and a short tour of the capital city here. Micah Tirfe woke up early so he and I hung out in the room and once he was asleep in the little sling I had him in around 9:15am we went downstairs to meet everybody before going to the Bezetha (sp?) Children's Home Association at 10 - which is where Micah T was before arriving at HH in December. The children's home was actually alot better than I had expected it to be. The children were all sitting at tables and smiled and posed for us as we took pictures of them. We got to take a tour and see the baby room, school age boy and girls rooms and there was even a "special class" as they labeled it for children who needed more closer care. It was amazing and heart breaking. The women and men who work there are unbelievable. They have no washer or dryer and wash all those children's clothes (around 70-80 children) by hand. As we finished the tour we came across an Ethiopian man talking to the Stivers and soon learned that he was the founder of the orphanage! He was so kind and spoke of the Lord and praised him for the families that those children, who were once at this home he'd founded, had now. He asked us to keep praying for them and talk about how him and 2 other staff members from Hannah's hope had just visited the villages where our children were from in southern Ethiopia about a week ago. He too spoke of the miracle of each of their lives. He told us about their need for a washer and dryer and we took up a donation to try and help them get started on saving for them. I also learned that Almaz works with that orphanage or home because the man who runs it is so very trustworthy. She is very picky about what orphanages she works with - Sabrina, another mom on the trip, prompted me to ask Samuel (the man who founded the home) about the scars on Micah's eyes and so I did...
He said in the place where they are from, if they think something is wrong with their eyes (or anything for that matter), they will cut them because they believe the shedding of blood brings healing. So as a little baby his eye lids were cut in 3 places on each eye - We had seen these scars in pictures and speculated about what they may be from, but actually hearing it made me really get choked up - not just for how horrible the thought of him being cut, also it was happiness because I knew what happened now, - I will now have an answer for him - though it's not a pretty one, its an answer to a question he will have one day - He is going to have so many questions one day and I actually have an answer for one of them now.
I have gone through the papers Almaz gave us yesterday and they are priceless - they piece together so much of his little life. He has been through so much, yet is so happy and full of life.

Matt began puking not too long after we got back from visiting the children's home and Micah T went down for a nap so they are sleeping as I write and try to take all this in.
Alot of the families leave tonight - Micah T's 2 favorite boys are in that group too. It will be sad to see them all leave, but hopefully we will meet up again with the Stivers soon.
We still have all of Friday and Saturday and then board our 1st plane of 4 about 3 am Sunday morning. I hope we will soak in the next 2 days with Micah here, just us 3, with no real agenda and no where to go. I'm praying they lead to even more bonding.
I like it here, but I just can't wait to be home with Tyler too!!
Later in the evening.....

This afternoon was rough - but in the early evening, Tate, the mom of the little girl who has been in the hospital all week asked me and another dad on the trip who is a doctor to come look at her little girl who they had discharged from the hospital- to see what we thought about putting her on the looong plane ride home. She looked good and we told them to go - otherwise they wouldn't be able to get a flight home for another 3-4 more weeks!
I showed her how to do a neb treatment and a nebulizer machine that Almaz thought had been blown (due to the outlet/voltage issues) began to work again - We blew one up while trying to show her how to use it and then we tried the one already thought to be broken as a last resort and Almaz said a quick prayer out loud as we turned it on and it was this tiny, huge miracle to hear the loud humming come from the machine!! We were all amazed at God's provision! This helped me get out of the slump I was in this afternoon and see how good I have it!
Going to bed! Can't wait to see Tyler!!

Day 5 in Ethiopia ~ Wed

We got back from our last trip to Hannah's Hope about an hour ago, Here is the whole crew - they were an absolutely AMAZING group of people! Love you all!

The last trip to HH was emotional. We went to meet Almaz and get the children's passports and she opened up her heart to us, sharing that she wished there was no need for adoption in Ethiopia- but the fact is, there is and that she is not there working all the time just to give families children - she is there working because children need families! I was very impressed with her - she is stern & organized but so soft and tender too

Her heart for all the children is amazing.

We took another tour of HH, this time all out - went everywhere!

Love this painting as you walk in the "baby building".

We saw Micah Tirfe's room and bed one last time and I even was able to sneak in a little time with Andrea's little man (who is home now! Check them out at http://www.babeofmyheart.com/)

He was so cute and smiling at their family picture!

Some more special mothers tried to kiss Micah T. and he turned into my chest again - I couldn't believe he was already feeling that safe and comfortable with me. But we were able to give out plenty of hugs and kisses to all those wonderful women and men too! Micah was taken such good care of there - I can't say enough good things about HH!

We got back to the hotel about 2:30 and Micah Tirfe fell asleep on my chest :) Him and Matt then napped for over 3 hours!

I had had 2 too many Ethiopian espresso's at the bar that morning so there was no nap in sight for me! So I skyped with family and tried to send Andrea the pictures of her little man.

I miss Tyler soooo much and can not wait to see him!!

After the nap we got ready to go out for the cultural dinner. It was a lot of fun but all the people and noise kinda made Micah act nervous and crazy! He'd be happy one minute then reaching out to strangers the next, then back to us then back to other people in our group - he was all over the place! But over all it was a great time!

Check out the food platter that 3-4 different families shared! YUMMY! ha!

Matt chowed down and so did Micah!

This is Micah with Danny, one of the drivers - he is wonderfuL!

And here is Was dancing with one of the performers! It was sooo cute!

It's a good thing they took that long nap earlier b/c we didn't make it back to the hotel until after 10pm and then there was more family to skype with and Tyler too of course!

I am surprised at how well Micah expresses his needs - It has not been hard to tell when he is sleepy or hungry - It is so funny b/c we packed all this baby food and bottles and he won't have anything to do with it!

He sure does love Ethiopian food but had his first taste of french fries today, and oh my he loved them!

I am so thankful for all the AGCI staff here and their obvious love for the children. Even strangers here love on all the children. It is really sweet.

Tomorrow we will go to the orphanage where Micah was at before going to HH - I'm praying it's not scary for him and am bummed that the Stiver's leave tomorrow!