Sometimes God asks us to GO... to make that step of faith and follow His calling...
Sometimes God asks us to STAY knowing that He has things for us to do right where we are both internally and externally....
In the past few months I have felt God asking me to do both. I was hesitant to share all this, but I feel like God is glorified in it so I should share....
To Go: To say "yes" to a special needs adoption, a precious waiting little girl...My hubby, reluctant at first, who had once said "I definitely can't do special needs" after praying for days said "OK, Lets go ahead with her...our life is not our own". It's not about us, what makes us comfortable, it's about what God wants -
So we began the process to bring her home...check ups at the Dr, gathering documents, notarizing papers, our home study, even put her pictures around the house....
But at some point in those weeks, something shifted in me and later I would find out my hubby too...
TO STAY: It was the week after our home study had been done, we were waiting for our agency contract to arrive, but I wasn't excited. I pushed those feelings aside, praying against what I thought had to be Satan's attempts to steal my joy and instill doubt - but as I continued praying, I felt an inner nudging, a deep whisper "not yet".....HUH?!?!
After avoiding a serious talk with my hubby, the time presented itself to ask him what he had been feeling and praying, and his words were identical to what I'd felt -
So after praying and crying on the couch together, we realized it'd be wrong to keep going knowing where we both stood.
** It is so easy to get caught up in other influences around us, and what others might think, but it is GOD we must seek in ALL things! This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Listening to God isn't always easy and doesn't always seem to make sense But we have peace and I am thankful.
"My Sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me" John 10:27
**2 days after our heart wrenching change in plans, we heard about the changes taking place in Ethiopia to the adoption process...Was God sparing us future devastation and further heartbreak by changing our hearts...Did God want to see if we would say "yes" in the first place??? I don't know for sure - But I do know God gives and takes away and it's all for HIS GLORY.
He is growing us and while it wasn't time yet for us, I pray it is for another family very soon! We are praying for baby "M" while she waits and all the other children waiting...
We wait in expectation...
"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord" Psalms 27:14
And for now in this season, God calls me to mommy the 2 boys I do have and teach them to listen to Him...and to remember that God sees anyone who does not know Him an ORPHAN...
Now just to lighten it up a bit....
Oh sweet friend! I know this has been hard! BUT you have heard His voice and you have been obedient! THAT is what you must do!!!! I love you sweet sister and will continue to pray for God's beautiful, perfect plan in your life. I absolutely think you are doing the right thing...following HIM!
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