James Chapter 1 -persevering

"2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. "

Oh how I needed to read this Truth today (or I guess yesterday now)!
While this waiting may not seem like a trial to some....on some days it certainly can be. I have honestly not been thinking about it too much with the holidays and Tyler being a non-stop monkey, but these words today really made me see where I stand in God's eyes.
I shouldn't be pouting or disappointed or DOUBTING....God is in control and this time is helping my faith to develop perseverance so one day I will be complete before my God, and He's the reason we are doing this...so HE is what ultimately matters!"

God's word is amazing....this verse really came alive to me when we were facing a whole different kind of trial. When I was 35 weeks pregnant, my twin brother's wife was 22 weeks pregnant, and my other sister-in-law had just given birth to twin girls who were fighting great at their premature age....excitement was everywhere! Then my brother and his wife call and in a matter of 24 hours they went from thinking something was wrong, being ambulanced to U of L, given hope that the baby may make it, to having to give birth to their perfectly formed, but just too small 22 week old son...it was the most devastating, heart wrenching, faith testing thing myself or family has ever and hopefully will ever experience.
The next few days after I was left with my huge belly and bouncing baby inside me feeling so guilty for the life I still had growing inside....my brother and his wife had moved to a tiny town to help grow a church in the youth and children deptartmet and where living their lives for God...so in my warped mind they shouldn't have to go through trials because they were pleasing God... but God's word doesn't say "if you live for me you will have no trouble or worries"
It says
"WHEN you face trials...." not IF.
God knows we will face trials in this broken world, but His mercies are new every morning, and weeping may last for the night but joy comes in the morning!
My brother and his wife, a year and 2 weeks after loosing their son, gave birth to a healthy, happy, spunky, little girl who is most definitely a joy!

While this trial of waiting seems long and harder some days more than others....I know Joy will come in the morning...the perfect morning God has picked for us...and until then, I will keep diving into the Truth in hopes of one day being complete before my God...yeah for perseverance!

James Chapter 1

little update...

Ok...I haven't posted in a while but there hasn't been much time with Christmas coming up sooo fast...which I am still not done shopping!!! But I wanted to give a little adoption update for those of you who check in from time to time to see whats going on....
I THOUGHT since the week of Thanksgiving that we were at #1 (unofficially that is) see our agency sends out updates every 2 weeks that tells how many referrals were made...and I have been stalking those very closely and we should be at #1...but apparently one of the referrals must have fallen through or somthing. This whole time I have only connected with families either way ahead of us in the process or behind us in the process...never knowing anyone who was with-in 1-2 spots of us on the list...until tonight!!
The family who really is #1 ( making us FOR SURE #2) joined our agency's yahoo group and shared how she is also waiting at #1 and waiting for her little boy referral....Well I was bummed for all of 5 seconds because.....they live in our city!!!!!!! This whole time I have not known but ONE family who was even in our state and now I "cyber-meet" the family who is 1 spot ahead of us and they live near us....God is amazing! It is exciting to meet people close to you on the list because more than likely you will be traveling together and meeting your children at the same time and all that. But we not only will be doing that....but also have the oppertunity to let our boys stay connected!!! They may be in the same crib right now while half way around the world, their mama's are in the same city!!! Can you belive that!? I am pumped! :D
So while it is now extreamly likely that our call won't come until after Christmas or even the new year...I am OK with it because I feel like I can relax more. What amazing proof that God is weaving all this together....he knows our son, knows when we will know him, and when we will bring him home!
So I am going to enjoy this time basking in the all-surpassing knowledge of our God and when the call comes....well the call comes....and the whole world will know about it!!! :)
Sorry to have gotten anyone's hopes up since me thinking we were #1 may have made other families think they were a spot higher than they were....but I know I had it right according to information given to us, I just was out of the loop somewhere! Either way, referrals will be coming soon I know it...and in the perfect time for all those precious children and their waiting forever families!!
Merry Christmas!

Our Christmas Picture

Here's our family picture this year...I love the chaos in trying to get that great picture with our little man and oh the joy when we finally get one that's good! :)
I can't help but feel someone is missing....when he does arrive, there will be more family pictures taken than anyone would care to see!!!
Merry Christmas!

Oh this wait....

is really starting to get to me! Each day is a rollar coaster ride....one minute I'm fine, "Yes God, we will wait, You are in control"....the next minute...."Please let it be today God!!" I am in constant surrender....which I am sure is right where God wants me :) I have always been "a control freak" as my sweet husband would say :) And now here I am thrusted in to one of the most UN-controlable happenings one could go through in life! God is funny like that!
I want to post this link for all the waiting families
http://www.cmt.ca/Artist/TheWilsons
This family just adopted a little girl, they are artists who are now on a show on CMT about their life as they struggle to make is big and raise their family too. They wrote this song 'Mine all Mine' once you go to the link, on the right hand side, half way down you will see the song so you can hear it...it is wonderful!
We are heading to the big town of Gaitlinburg TN today! This is the 3rd year now my husband's Dad's side of the family (very large) all get together in a big 12 room cabin for the weekend and celebrate Christmas the whole time! There's lots of stuff to do in the cabin itself but it is just nice to have a place we can all fit and be together in one place, so it will be a good distraction.
I must say I would LOVE for our agency to call before the day is up!! Friday is there paperwork day...so they won't be returning phone calls or emails, and I have heard families getting calls on Fridays....so I hope it's today and we can have another thing to celebrate this weekend!!
Have a wonderful weekend!!

God must be up to somthing!

I can't help but wonder...."What in the world are you up to God?" :)
My hubby has been home alot off and on the past 2 weeks...making for many days that seemed like the perfect time to get our awaited phone call...BUT no call. We even heard news that the transition home will be moving to a bigger and better place the end of this month, so I was afraid they'd hold off on referrals until after the move and the new year! A sweet friend informed me she heard other wise from her case worker though, who said they were confident that referrals would be made this month...so yeah! I am hopeful! God must really have a special and amazing moment waiting for us...We are praying that he is being comforted during so many transtions and testing and that his papers arrive in order and all together so they will be ready to be given to us!! (soon!) I am not really as anxious as I once was...after 2 weeks that dwindles :) but am finally at that place were I can just say ahhh it will happen when God wants it to!
God gave me this verse today
"Be joyful ALWAYS. Pray CONTINUALLY. Give THANKS in ALL circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" 1 Thess.
So...it's not just when I FEEL joyful and not when I NEED somthing that I should pray and I should be THANKFUL even while I WAIT!!!! Thank you God....you are teaching me so much!

My sweet Ty

So I am really getting into the Christmas spirit now! The past couple of years I haven't felt that special spark you feel at this time of year...but this year I am and I love it! Tyler is at the most precious age and he is so curious and it will be so fun to see him with gifts and santa and all that good stuff! My aunt got him this adorable outfit so we started posing for pictures early! :)
I have felt guilty about being so consumed with hearing news about our future son that I felt like I was missing what is right in front of me!...this wonderful cutie!!! I love him so much and he will be my only child for just a little while longer...so while I am aching to see our new son and start the process to getting him home with us...I will cherish Tyler more and enjoy the individual attention I am able to give him!

Still...

Hangin' in there!
I keep hearing over and over again...
"Be still and know that I am God"
Psalm 46:10