James Chapter 1 -persevering

"2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. "

Oh how I needed to read this Truth today (or I guess yesterday now)!
While this waiting may not seem like a trial to some....on some days it certainly can be. I have honestly not been thinking about it too much with the holidays and Tyler being a non-stop monkey, but these words today really made me see where I stand in God's eyes.
I shouldn't be pouting or disappointed or DOUBTING....God is in control and this time is helping my faith to develop perseverance so one day I will be complete before my God, and He's the reason we are doing this...so HE is what ultimately matters!"

God's word is amazing....this verse really came alive to me when we were facing a whole different kind of trial. When I was 35 weeks pregnant, my twin brother's wife was 22 weeks pregnant, and my other sister-in-law had just given birth to twin girls who were fighting great at their premature age....excitement was everywhere! Then my brother and his wife call and in a matter of 24 hours they went from thinking something was wrong, being ambulanced to U of L, given hope that the baby may make it, to having to give birth to their perfectly formed, but just too small 22 week old son...it was the most devastating, heart wrenching, faith testing thing myself or family has ever and hopefully will ever experience.
The next few days after I was left with my huge belly and bouncing baby inside me feeling so guilty for the life I still had growing inside....my brother and his wife had moved to a tiny town to help grow a church in the youth and children deptartmet and where living their lives for God...so in my warped mind they shouldn't have to go through trials because they were pleasing God... but God's word doesn't say "if you live for me you will have no trouble or worries"
It says
"WHEN you face trials...." not IF.
God knows we will face trials in this broken world, but His mercies are new every morning, and weeping may last for the night but joy comes in the morning!
My brother and his wife, a year and 2 weeks after loosing their son, gave birth to a healthy, happy, spunky, little girl who is most definitely a joy!

While this trial of waiting seems long and harder some days more than others....I know Joy will come in the morning...the perfect morning God has picked for us...and until then, I will keep diving into the Truth in hopes of one day being complete before my God...yeah for perseverance!